i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
