he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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