Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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