idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
