Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
