One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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