You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
