They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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