Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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