I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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