By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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