Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
