Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
