Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
