Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My Higher Power is John Stamos
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
