News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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