I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
