You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wish I only lived at night.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
