i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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