So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This is classic penis vs brain.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
