You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
