He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I DEMAND FORESKIN
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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