Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize