I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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