six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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