hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
