yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
