I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
