I am puke
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
