HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
