i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
