I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
