Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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