so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
