if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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