I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
