I just cut my nipple shaving
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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