I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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