I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
