first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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