The maid of honor just puked.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
