He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize