We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
