He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
