That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
