I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
