its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
