Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize