I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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