whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
