HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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