Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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