Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So vagazzling was a success
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
