Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
