Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
