Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
