five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I need a beard to bite.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
