from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
