Your face is a jimmy john
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
