there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
