Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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