is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
