I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
